When Dad wants fried chicken…he gets fried chicken.  The request doesn’t come often, so I was eager to fulfill his wish this evening.  However, the order came in late….too late for me to thaw out chicken I had in the freezer to fry myself, and I didn’t have buttermilk to soak it in…..  My options were limited, and COVID-19 restrictions further culled my available sources for freshly, cooked deep-fried poultry.

“Do you want Bojangles chicken with a biscuit?” I asked Dad, as he sat at his outside workbench.  He was whittling the finishing touches on a handle he’d just made for a chisel that broke earlier this week. “That would be delicious!”

I jumped in the car, drove the 2.3 mile trip to the drive-thru entrance of Bojangles, and pulled up to the menu marquee to make my selection.  “Can you please give me just a minute?” I asked.  A young female voice said “take your time ma’m!”  I quickly scanned the selections which ranged from breakfast all day to family tailgate specials, and finally saw what would meet our needs- the “Snack” menu.  There were various choices, but Dad wanted a thigh.  So the chicken thigh and a biscuit would be perfect……almost.

“I’d like 2 of the chicken thigh snacks, but can I add another thigh to each please?  How much extra would that be?”

I saw a single chicken thigh special pop up on the screen for $1.09 (I believe.)

I spoke again…”Sweetheart (I was simply politely asking in a Southern manner) I am so sorry to ask, but will that be an extra piece of thigh meat in each snack?  What I want is 4 chicken thighs, and 2 biscuits.  Is that possible?”

“Ma’am, can you please drive around?”

I felt like I was going to be scolded.  The line was gathering behind me.  As I waited my turn and approached the open window, 3 heads crowded to glance at the woman who wanted 4 thighs and a couple of biscuits.  This was obviously NOT a standard choice on the menu.  I started to try and explain what I wanted again…”4 thighs and 2 biscuits please.”  A cute little girl who looked all of 12 years old said “This is only my second day”.

I had TOTALLY confused her.  I was going to be the example of the difficult customer who could not simply choose one of dozens of carefully thought out and tested options on the menu that had undoubtedly been in existence for longer than she’d been alive!  A young man piped up from behind her (this was person #4) and said “that will be $8.89 please.”

WHY DIDN’T I KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT?????

“But that is more than getting 4 of the thigh and biscuit snacks, isn’t it?”

“Yes ma’am”, he said.

“Well I’ll make it easier and get 4 thigh and biscuit snacks please, so 4 thighs and 4 biscuits total.”

I paid, was handed a bag of biscuits, and the delightfully packaged chicken pieces in the traditional yellow and red box, a Bojangles trademark.

I quickly zipped home, took my box and bag into the kitchen to make plates for Dad and I, and opened the box…….. Nooooooooooo!  There were no thighs!  It was 4 chicken tenders, fries, a biscuit, and ranch dipping sauce!

I went out to the garage to find Dad still working.

“Did you get it?” Dad asked.

“Sort of,” I replied.  “I got the wrong order.”

“Well what did we get?” Dad asked.

“Not enough….some chicken tenders and no thighs.  I’ll go back.”

I gathered my box and bag, and took off back to the restaurant.  When I reached the drive-thru, I started with my most heartfelt apology for confusing the young employee.  I described myself as the 4 thigh, 4 biscuit lady.  “Please come to the window” was the reply from the loudspeaker.

Employee #5 joined the group as I approached–the manager.  I apologized again for confusing them, and offered to pay for the box of tenders I was previously given.  They told me to keep it.  I was soon handed a box of chicken so hot I could feel the heat through the bottom.  Just to make certain, I peaked ever so briefly into the corner, and I saw a crispy thigh crowded up beside other pieces of chicken, all nestled under the piece of wax paper covering them!  YES!

They were happy to see me go, and as I rounded the corner, there must have been 15 cars lined up waiting for their own box of crispy Cajun goodness.

As I repeated the steps I’d taken before, I laughed out loud as I once again opened the yellow and red box on the kitchen counter.   What did I find??  I knew there was one thigh (remember I peaked in the drive-through?).  But ONLY 1 thigh…and 1 long leg, and 3 backs….and a biscuit.  I laughed and I laughed.

The funniest thing to me was thinking about all of the folks in line who might be getting a “surprise box” too!  Perhaps the new girl was just one off between the order number and the correct car approaching the window.  She was trying….they all were.  And my confusing approach to my initial order probably set forth the unrecoverable disastrous chain of order mix-ups.

In this world of sickness, stress and so many unknowns, I hope and pray that everyone ordering from Bojangles drive-thru in Cary this evening enjoyed their dinner, no matter WHAT they got in their yellow surprise box….remember, it’s Bo time!

(I do hope they teach the new employees the anatomical difference between a back, thigh, and chicken tender.)