This was written November 6, 2020. It has taken me some time to process the emotions surrounding the end of my father’s life on earth. All things have a beginning and end. This “ending” starts a new path of beginnings which I look forward to sharing.

Over the past few days, I have had many phone calls from concerned friends and family.  Most of the phone calls started in a similar manner: “Melinda, I am so sorry”. 

There is nothing to be sorry about!  For the last several years, I have had the privilege and honor to take care of my Daddy in his home, enabling him to maintain as much of his routine, quality of life and independence as possible. 

Bill was called many names by folks throughout his life.  To one of his closest childhood friends, who became US Congressman Tim Valentine, he was known as Beau.  The Captain of his ship called him Gup-eh-ton.  Mom turned a one syllable name into 2- “Beeee-illlll !!!”.  He also answered to Bra-tha, Uncle Bill, Mr. Bill, Young Man, Papa G, Boy, Granddad, and…… Daddy. 

On one of his first night watches, stationed at the tip of the bow, Dad saw something fast approaching, cylindrical in shape, and watched it whizz by narrowly missing the ship’s hull.  Terrified he’d almost been blown to bits by a torpedo, he later laughed realizing he had witnessed the first of countless dolphins he would discover swimming alongside the ship.

The duty of Dad’s patrol craft was to escort merchant ships travelling along the east coast.  Protecting the cargo ships from German U-boats was a critical mission they performed countless times in the waters between New York City and Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

On May 1, 1946 he completed his naval service. Dad soon returned to Nashville, and in 1951 began his career path with Carolina Power and Light Co., ….one that moved him from Nashville, to Fuquay and eventually on to Cary where he was employed by CP&L for one month shy of 37 years.

I’ve received calls from men he mentored throughout his years working with CP&L, sharing how Dad positively impacted their careers. They all remember Dad as an incredibly patient teacher, meticulously drawing and color coding the lines and cables on paper diagrams so they could learn how to complete repairs properly and safely.

As a daughter, and an only child, I struggled throughout my life to imagine what it would be like when I would no longer be encircled by my parent’s arms.  Especially when we are young, we see our parents as somehow immortal, but as we mature, we know the inevitable separation will one day take place.  The calendar pages never stop turning, and on August 28, 2019, when Mom left us, I realized I needed to make the very most of the time I had left with Daddy, asking anything I needed to know before it was too late.

Keeping that thought in mind, several weeks ago, I was thinking about Mom and Dad’s wedding day. I realized I wasn’t clear on exactly how Dad proposed. So, a few weeks ago as we were in the car riding back from a trip to the Farmer’s Market, I asked him….  “Dad, how did you propose to Mom?”  He thought for a minute, and then offered “Actually I didn’t.  I believe she just told me we were going to get married, so I went and bought her a ring!”  This is SO like Mom….always wanting to be in total control of things!

September 8, 1951, Bill and Betty were married at her family home in Cary, NC.  They lived in Nashville, and led a busy life as a young couple.  A month later Dad was initiated into the Morning Star Lodge, #85 in Nashville.  He was dedicated to the principles of Freemasonry, which include integrity, honesty, fairness, and living an ethical and moral life, and was raised to the degree of Master Mason in January 1956.  I took his Masonic ring from his finger to prepare him for the operating room on Sunday, October 18.  To the best of my knowledge, that was the only time I’ve ever seen him without it on his right ring finger.  The ceremonial apron given to Dad during his initiation is on him now, along with his 50 year pin. I was honored to have members of His Lodge, and the Cary Masonic Lodge present today to provide Masonic Rites at the graveside.

Dad played golf up until last year, 2019, and as I understand it, could still hit the ball straight as an arrow!  He dearly loved the fellowship of his friends on the golf course….and right now he has 3 golf balls, a tee and his golf glove with him…… just in case!

Mom was happy for Dad to play golf, but when he was not on the course, she always had a project for her Bill in or around the house…..and whether it involved painting, planting, pruning, building, hanging, moving or adjusting…..he would cheerfully and meticulously tackle any task. One thing I recall they did together every summertime…. shelled peas and beans to freeze for the winter (something Dad and I continued even this summer!)

Bill adored his wife, and he lived his life to make her happy. He did his very best to take care of her for the entirety of their almost 68 years of marriage.  They were both dedicated members of Ephesus Baptist Church, sitting side by side every Sunday in the same spot on the left-hand side of the sanctuary. Dad was a quiet servant in the church, always ready to help make a positive difference in so many ministries- from the Christmas Living Nativity to Baptist Men’s Hurricane relief projects.  Mom and Dad were always close by each other….often performing different functions, but always arriving and leaving together!

The tenderness between Bill and Betty never wavered, even through the difficult years when Mom’s deterioration necessitated her living apart from him.  We visited her regularly, and spent as much quality time as possible with her.  He always called her “Shug”, and would sit by her wheelchair or bedside, tenderly holding her hand, never failing to say “I love you.” 

Dad was so easy to please! One thing that made him happy was Home cooked, southern food.  I mastered Coconut custard pie, peanut brittle and Brunswick stew recipes from Mom’s collection just for Daddy.  He savored Aunt Edith’s turnip greens and cornbread, and Uncle Pete’s pork tenderloin biscuits.  Breakfast wasn’t complete without Aunt Marie’s fig preserves.  Seafood could ONLY be eaten on Friday.  Dad loved fresh pineapple, country ham and country sausage from Nahunta, and Orange Cream shakes from Arby’s. After golf, a hotdog from the stand at Lowe’s with chili and onions was necessary.  Meals with friends from Ephesus at the D&S cafeteria, and Wednesday night fellowship suppers with Jesse Price’s spaghetti and chicken stew, were treasured times I was blessed to share with Daddy.

Something else that brought a smile to his face was the phrase “Let’s Go Fishing!”.   From the time I was big enough to hold a cane pole, Daddy would take me fishing in local ponds near the house.  Sometimes I spent more time playing with the worms in the can than putting them on the hook, but he didn’t mind….we were together and that is what was important.  Kristen embraced her Granddad’s love of fishing, and he taught her to fish in the lake behind our house.  Many of the Ephesus men have wonderful tales from the yearly trips taken to Morehead, and Dad would never miss the opportunity to go when he was able.

Though I tried my best to take care of and keep Dad safe, like Mom always endeavored to do, I knew Dad was his own person…. strong, independent, determined, and as physically active as possible.  Often, I would hear him say “I’m going for a walk”, and I’d watch from the window as he’d walk down the driveway…..  Gradually his walks shortened as he progressed from needing a cane to a rollater walker for stability.  If I didn’t see him coming back up the street within a few minutes, I’d go out hunting for him around the neighborhood!  Countless times I would spot a Town maintenance crew working on water lines, or cable crews running underground lines …..and in the middle of the workers I would find Dad, sitting on his rollator, talking with the men about whatever job they were doing.  He never met a stranger!

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I cannot possibly share all the memories I have from a life-long journey my Dad. He was always my best playmate. Daddy taught me the art of building sand castles at the beach, how to tell time, and how to draw & measure perfectly.  Dad knew just how to untangle my long hair without hurting, and his weathered fingers tied the most perfect bows on my dresses. Thanks to Dad I can paint almost anything, safely operate a variety of power tools, cut the grass on the diagonal to make perfect lines in the turf, and repair minor plumbing issues.  I’ll treasure the step-by-step instructions he provided this past spring on how to plant Uncle Pete’s tomato plants…..and it worked beautifully because I served him tomato sandwiches all summer long!

Dad was rich in the attributes that matter most. He was the smartest man I ever knew- knowledgeable in practical skills, understanding people, and common sense. It’s impossible to list all the life lessons he taught me through words and actions. Thankfully, I’ve catalogued countless, priceless memories in my heart that can never, ever be taken away.

There was no one more precious in Dad’s eye’s than his beloved grandchildren.  He was blessed with 2, and they adored him beyond what words can express.  As Kristen wrote in a beautiful tribute to her Granddad the day after his passing: “He was a grandfather who was there for carpool, babysitting, horse shows, building forts, every holiday, every birthday, every grandparents day, and every precious moment of our childhoods”.  I was blessed with 2 children with completely different interests.  My first-born was destined to be an engineer, and attributes the countless hours they spent drawing, planning and creating projects together on Granddad’s workbench to her success as an engineer today! Kristen, my second born, was the outdoorsy, animal loving, horseback riding “let’s play in the dirt” granddaughter…but she loved cuddles in Granddad’s lap.  With her, Granddad played Playdoh, pushed her for hours on end on the swing and went to horseshows regularly to see her ride.  He adored his Kristen, and she was by his side right to the end.

Anyone who saw Daddy outside over the past few years knew he proudly wore a WWII Veteran’s cap.  Literally everywhere he went, Dad wore his cap.  And each time he had it on, SOMEONE came up to him- men, women, and many teenager- and they always said the same thing “Thank you for your service, Sir!” He replied time and time again with the same 3 words “You’re quite welcome”. 

Dad has on his cap right now.  And I have complete faith that as he entered the gates of heaven, he heard the phrase one more time…..at the most important time….”thank you for your service, Sir” to which I am confident he replied “You’re quite welcome”.