This Mother’s Day is different. I can no longer go visit my Mom to give her a carefully selected card, beautiful flowers, or thoughtfully chosen present packaged in a colorful gift bag. But I would give anything at all to be able to do it again just one more time…..

I had the opportunity to do this for almost 56 years, give my Mom a card on Mother’s Day. Well, actually, for about 50 years. Daddy always made sure to provide a card for me to scribble on or sign my name, until I was old enough to accompany him to the Hallmark store to choose my OWN card “For Mom from Your Daughter.”

Many years I wrote “Happy Mother’s Day” messages in crayon on folded color paper. I also remember gluing together popsicle stick picture frames, weaving construction paper place mats and assembling tissue paper flowers at school, only to have to find a secret place to hide them from the time I reached home Friday afternoon until Sunday morning. It would never do for Mom to discover her hand-made card and gift before the big reveal Mother’s Day morning!

How times change……

As a Mom myself, I have been the proud and fortunate recipient of many of the same gifts and carefully crafted cards. It is not until you receive these glitter coated, pipe cleaner wrapped, finger-printed, macaroni encrusted, sticker covered works of art that you experience the pride of knowing your child made these straight-from-the-heart Mother’s Day creations just for YOU! A little person who is learning to cut, mastering the crayon, and better at wearing paint than applying it.

Of course, as a Mom, worry is never far from your watchful eye, even when admiring the gift or card your little snuggle bunny made for you—-he is a bit clumsy with the scissors (does he have a developmental delay?) She hasn’t figured out the difference between a “W” and an “M” (is my child dyslexic?) Or, the color combinations are certainly unique (is my child color-blind??!)

As my children matured, their cards evolved along with their messages. Many were catered to the “Mom – Child” experiences we shared as they grew. I saw the humor and perspective of my children reflected in the cards they made, as well as the store-bought ones they chose when convenience trumped creativity.

 

 

 

 

I find myself starting to get anxious a few days in advance of The Day. Will I receive a card in the mail? Will flowers or a plant magically appear at the doorstep? How about a cake!? (I don’t even really like cake, but if she made one herself and brought it to me, it would be the most delicious, best cake EVER!) A balloon? (that’s not environmentally friendly- and wasn’t there a helium shortage a few years back?) A shared meal- maybe even at a restaurant? (certainly a no-no, COVID-19). A pedicure? (never get those either, but these dry, pale feet with naked nails would certainly take advantage of a treat! But, once again, COVID-19. Pedicure not happening).

This Mother’s Day was different for everyone. Life circumstances have made some women new Moms, and some Mothers have passed away. COVID-19 has forcibly injected distance between many children and their maternal parent. I have friends who are celebrating Mother’s Day via Zoom, Facetime or Skype. But regardless of whether you live one town away or in another time zone, it is the effort a child makes to reach out to his or her mother that is most important. What a Mom really wants is to know that her child loves her and appreciates her devotion to them enough that they make the effort to connect….that invisible umbilical cord that, for a Mom, never goes away.

It was 0820. My cell phone rang. I grabbed it quickly wondering who it might be……….”Hello Mom! Happy Mother’s Day to the Best Mom Ever!” I melted. Tears welled up briefly, but I didn’t let her detect the slight quiver in my voice. “Thank you Sweetheart! That means the world to me!” And it did. That’s all I needed. My daughter Rebecca, in Washington, DC, remembered. Though her service dog Nigel, a full blooded Golden Retriever, is very smart, he didn’t remind her. She called all on her own. I felt proud, happy, content, satisfied, and loved. A few minutes after the phonecall, we Skyped so I could see both Rebecca and Nigel. It was already a perfect day.

Then, one hour and thirteen minutes later, the phone rang again. “Happy Mother’s Day! I love you! Can I stop by later to see you? I got you a little something for Mother’s Day! ” Once again…..I became a puddle. Daughter number two didn’t forget either. She could have stopped after asking to come by…..the gift of a visit from her would be present enough.

Time. The most precious of all gifts. The thing we always want more of once it is gone. More time with our Mom, more time with our children. What we would give for just one more day with our beloved family members, pets, friends. The one thing we can’t create more of…..minutes and hours and days of empty blocks of time spread out before us to fill with whatever WE choose, what we make the effort to do…..

While my children were growing up, I often shared with them some advice I try to live by to this day. “Don’t live your life saying ‘I wish I had. Live each day so you can always say ‘I’m glad I did.”

I’m glad I did spend time with my Mom on Mother’s Day, but also on all the days in between. I’m grateful that I’ve learned to truly appreciate the value of time…time with my children, time with my loved ones, time enjoying life and the things that cost nothing monetarily, just thought and effort. Sure the penne pasta necklaces and painted rocks I received as gifts from the children were valued…but not as much as the time and effort it took to create those adorable preschool tokens of love!

My children will probably never read this, but one day I hope and pray they get it…..that they know that hearing their voices say “I love you Mom”, calling on Skype, or taking a few minutes to drive by for a quick hug and a smile are the gifts every Mother craves.

My dear children, thank you for taking the time to remember me on this Mother’s Day. I am so very proud to be Your Mom.

(P.S.- I will enjoy the special scented soap, candle, and adult beverages you brought by!!)